Tip on How to Save Petrol

• Try to avoid using your car for short journeys – use public transport, ride a bicycle or walk.
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  Plan ahead – choose un-congested routes, combine trips, car share.
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  Cold starts – drive off as soon as possible after starting.
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  Drive smoothly and efficiently – harsh acceleration and heavy braking have a very significant effect on fuel consumption. Driving more smoothly saves fuel.
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  Slow down – driving at high speeds significantly increases fuel consumption.
  Use higher gears as soon as traffic conditions allow.
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  Switch off – sitting stationary is zero miles per gallon. Switch off the engine whenever it is safe to do so.
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  Lose weight – don’t carry unnecessary weight. Remove roof racks when not in use.
  Regular servicing helps keep the engine at best efficiency.
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  Keep the pressure up – make sure the tyres are inflated to the correct pressure for the vehicle.
  Do not compromise safety, but be aware that the use of onboard electrical devices increases fuel consumption.
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  Check your fuel consumption – it will help you get the most from the car. Changes in overall fuel consumption may indicate a fault.
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  Use air-conditioning sparingly – running air-conditioning continuously will increase fuel consumption significantly.

Jokes

A penguin is driving along the highway when, suddenly his engine starts running rough and he sees smoke in his rear view mirror. He pulls off the highway and finds the nearest service station, and pulls up to the garage with the car shaking and sputtering. He tells the mechanic what happened, and the mechanic says “OK, give me 10 minutes to check it out.”

Meanwhile, the penguin sees an ice cream shop across the street. Thinking this is a perfect time for a tasty treat, he heads over and gets himself an ice cream cone.

After he finishes, he walks back over to the garage, and asks the mechanic “So, did you find out what’s wrong?”

The mechanic looks at the penguin and says “It looks like you blew a seal.”

The penguin quickly wipes his face and says “Oh, no, that’s just the ice cream.”

Texas Ranger

A Texas rancher was visiting a farmer in Israel. The proud Israeli showed him around. “Here is where I grow tomatoes, cucumbers, and squash. Over there I built a play set for my kids, next to the doghouse,” the farmer said.

The land was tiny, and the Texan was surprised by its small size. “Is this all your land?” he asked.

“Yes,” the Israeli said proudly. “This is all mine!”

“You mean this is it? This is all of it?” the Texan said incredulously.

“Yes, yes, this is really all mine!”

“Well, son,” said the Texan, “back home I’d get in my car before the sun’d come up and I’d drive and drive and drive, and when the sun set, why, I’d only be halfway across my land!”

“Oh, yes,” replied the Israeli farmer wistfully, “I used to have a car like that.”