Posted on 05-03-2013
Filed Under (News To Amuse) by Chloe Davies

Joke Misleading

Joan Gets Car Privileges

Mom and dad had just given their teenage daughter, Joan, family-car privileges.

The following Saturday Joan was allowed to take the car to a party, and in addition to the usual don’t-be-home-too-late admonishments she had been given one about don’t-drink-and-drive.

Joan was a sensible girl. On Saturday night she stayed away from alcohol, but had lots of fun anyway. Lots of fun.

The next morning her father went out to the driveway to get the newspaper and came back into the house frowning.

At 11:30 AM the girl sleepily walked into the kitchen, and her father asked her, “Sweetheart, what time did you get in last night?”

“Not too late, Dad,” she replied, perhaps a tad nervously.

Dead-panned, her father said, “Then, my precious one, I shall certainly have to talk with the paperboy about not placing my morning paper under the tire of the car.”

At Heavens Gates

Three men die and are sitting at heavens gate. the angel asks the first man, so what were you like ? he replies, ‘ oh i was a really good husband, never cheated on my wife, looked after my kids, gave to charity ‘. the angel replies ‘ well, you can have a rolls royce ‘. the angel then turns to the second man. he says ‘ i was quite a good husband, cheated a few times, bit of an alcoholic, but i never killed anyone’. the angel says ‘ in that case, you can have a ford focus ‘. the third man then says ‘ i was a lousy husband, never did a good thing in my life, a complete looser ‘. the angel gives him a bicycle.

later the two men with the ford and bicycle, see the man with a rolls royce crying his eyes out on a park bench. ‘ whats the problem ?’ they ask. ‘ i just saw my wife on a skateboard ‘, he replies.

 

I Killed the Cow

Victoria Beckham was being driven around the countryside in her limo.Suddenly a cow walked into the road and unable to stop in time, the limo hit the cow.

Slightly shaken up, the driver went to see if the cow was alright.

‘Is it alright?’ asked Victoria .

The driver prodded the cow with his foot and shook his head. ‘No ma’am, it’s dead.’

‘Well you were driving, so you can go tell the farmer what happened!’

So the driver went off to the nearby farm. A couple of hours later hecame back holding a bottle of wine, his clothes scruffy and messed up.

‘Oh my god, what happened to you?’ Victoria exclaimed.

‘Well ma’am,’ explained the driver, ‘the farmer gave me this bottle ofwine, the farmer’s wife gave a kiss and their daughter made love to me.’

‘Just what the hell did you say to them?’

‘I’m Victoria Beckham’s driver and I’ve just killed the cow.’

 

 

 

 

 

 

(32) Comments    Read More   

Comments

minecraft on 5 October, 2018 at 1:39 am #

What a data of un-ambiguity and preserveness of valuable familiarity concerning unpredicted emotions.


minecraft on 5 October, 2018 at 7:51 pm #

Good article! We are linking to this particularly great content
on our site. Keep up the good writing.


minecraft on 6 October, 2018 at 1:48 am #

I relish, cause I discovered just what I used to be looking for.
You’ve ended my 4 day lengthy hunt! God Bless you man.
Have a great day. Bye


minecraft on 6 October, 2018 at 9:01 pm #

Thank you for every other great article. The place else could anybody get
that kind of info in such a perfect means of writing?
I have a presentation next week, and I’m on the look
for such information.


minecraft on 7 October, 2018 at 11:41 am #

With havin so much content do you ever run into any issues of plagorism or copyright violation? My site has a lot of completely unique
content I’ve either authored myself or outsourced but it looks like a lot of it is popping
it up all over the web without my agreement. Do you know any solutions to
help protect against content from being stolen? I’d truly appreciate it.


minecraft free download 2018 on 8 October, 2018 at 10:53 am #

Hello! This post couldn’t be written any better! Reading through this post reminds me of my old room mate!

He always kept talking about this. I will forward this
write-up to him. Fairly certain he will have a good read.
Many thanks for sharing!


minecraft free download 2018 on 11 October, 2018 at 8:41 am #

It is actually a nice and useful piece of info.
I am satisfied that you simply shared this helpful
information with us. Please keep us up to date like this.
Thanks for sharing.


minecraft secret free download on 18 October, 2018 at 9:03 am #

Hi to every one, the contents present at this site are genuinely remarkable
for people experience, well, keep up the nice work fellows.


Health Benefits of Coconut Oil on 19 October, 2018 at 5:03 pm #

Everyone loves it whenever people get together and share views.
Great blog, continue the good work!


Coconut Oil on 21 October, 2018 at 4:34 pm #

I think that everything posted made a great deal of sense.
However, think on this, what if you composed a catchier
title? I am not suggesting your content isn’t good, however what if you added
a title to possibly get people’s attention? I mean 1 Call Auto-Part » Blog
Archive » Weekly Fun… is a little boring.

You might glance at Yahoo’s home page and watch how they create news titles to get people to open the links.
You might add a video or a pic or two to grab readers interested about what you’ve got to say.
Just my opinion, it might make your website a little bit more interesting.


Coconut Oil Benefits on 23 October, 2018 at 12:19 am #

I’ve learn some excellent stuff here. Definitely price bookmarking for
revisiting. I surprise how so much attempt you put to create
this type of great informative website.


Coconut Oil Benefits on 23 October, 2018 at 2:04 pm #

Hi there, I discovered your site by the use of Google whilst searching for a comparable subject, your website came up, it
seems to be good. I have bookmarked it in my google bookmarks.

Hi there, simply became alert to your weblog via Google, and found that it is
really informative. I am gonna be careful for brussels. I’ll appreciate if you
proceed this in future. A lot of other people might be benefited out of
your writing. Cheers!


Benefits of Coconut Oil on 24 October, 2018 at 9:39 pm #

Great post.


醫學美容-升級-火山溫泉-cosmetic-wiki on 25 October, 2018 at 5:17 pm #

La pensee 【彩妝系列】マルチ フェイス カラー的商品介紹 La pensee,彩妝系列,マルチ フェイス カラー


Health Benefits of Coconut Oil on 25 October, 2018 at 6:03 pm #

Wow, fantastic blog layout! How long have you been blogging for?

you made blogging look easy. The overall look of your website is fantastic, as well as the content!


Benefits of Coconut Oil on 27 October, 2018 at 8:18 pm #

hi!,I really like your writing very much! percentage we communicate more approximately your post on AOL?
I require an expert in this space to resolve my problem.
May be that’s you! Taking a look forward to look you.


醫學美容-膠筆-溶解-cosmetic-wiki on 28 October, 2018 at 1:18 am #

LM SKINCENTRE 脫髮 皮膚問題 頭髮大量及不正常脫落的原因有很多,患者通常是見到枕頭有很多髮絲、頭髮逐漸稀薄,或突然有一大撮頭髮脫落,才發現頭髮出了問題。大量脫髮有時可以是患病的早期徵兆,所以在治療脫髮前必須確定問題的成因。本皮膚中心的醫生會為您進行全面的髮量評估,找出真正的成因及制訂最佳的治療方案。


Coconut Oil Benefits on 29 October, 2018 at 7:58 am #

Its like you read my mind! You seem to know a lot approximately this,
like you wrote the e-book in it or something. I
think that you just could do with some percent to force the message home a bit,
but other than that, that is wonderful blog. A great read.
I’ll definitely be back.


descargar facebook on 2 November, 2018 at 8:57 am #

I’m gone to tell my little brother, that he should also pay a visit this weblog on regular basis to obtain updated from hottest gossip.


descargar facebook on 2 November, 2018 at 8:59 pm #

I’m not that much of a internet reader to be honest but your
sites really nice, keep it up! I’ll go ahead and
bookmark your site to come back later. Many thanks


quest bars cheap on 4 November, 2018 at 6:04 am #

Excellent blog you’ve got here.. It’s hard to find high quality writing like yours nowadays.
I really appreciate people like you! Take care!!


quest bars cheap on 4 November, 2018 at 1:51 pm #

Do you have a spam issue on this site; I also am a blogger, and I was curious about your situation; we have
created some nice practices and we are looking to exchange
methods with others, please shoot me an e-mail if interested.


Manchester City are ready to break the bank to bring in Jose Mourinho as their new manager this summer. City’s billionaire owners will tell Inter boss Mourinho to name his price. Manchester City to splash cash on bringing Inter boss Jose Mourinho to Eastlands


Football Solutions Jakub Wilk on 5 November, 2018 at 12:51 am #

Under the new deal, the current owners will continue to run the club on a daily basis while Steve Parish was keen to stress that the investment would be primarily used for stadium redevelopment. Crystal Palace US investment to take club to ‘next level’ should be secured by Christmas, says co-owner Steve Parish


Quest Protein Bars on 6 November, 2018 at 3:19 pm #

Hi there! I’m at work surfing around your blog from my new apple iphone!
Just wanted to say I love reading through your blog and
look forward to all your posts! Carry on the outstanding work!


quest bars on 6 November, 2018 at 4:48 pm #

It’s fantastic that you are getting thoughts
from this article as well as from our dialogue made at this time.


Quest Bars Cheap on 9 November, 2018 at 4:03 am #

Thanks for the good writeup. It actually used to be a
amusement account it. Look complicated to more delivered
agreeable from you! However, how can we communicate?


Quest Bars on 9 November, 2018 at 12:20 pm #

Saved as a favorite, I like your website!


Sling TV on 10 November, 2018 at 2:14 pm #

For most up-to-date information you have to go to see internet and
on internet I found this web site as a most excellent web page for latest updates.


Sling TV on 10 November, 2018 at 4:06 pm #

Have you ever thought about adding a little bit more than just your articles?
I mean, what you say is valuable and everything. Nevertheless imagine if you added some great graphics or video clips to give your posts more, “pop”!
Your content is excellent but with pics and videos, this site could definitely be
one of the most beneficial in its field. Fantastic blog!


Sling TV on 11 November, 2018 at 8:10 pm #

I’m really loving the theme/design of your web site.
Do you ever run into any web browser compatibility issues?
A handful of my blog readers have complained
about my blog not operating correctly in Explorer but looks
great in Opera. Do you have any advice to help fix this issue?


Sling TV on 11 November, 2018 at 9:48 pm #

My brother recommended I might like this blog.
He was totally right. This publish truly made my day. You
cann’t consider simply how so much time I had spent for this info!
Thanks!


Post a Comment
Name:
Email:
Website:
Comments:
  • Payment Protection Facility

    Total Consumer Protection for out of town purchases, Read More.



  • administration